Remember You
by whatthehell82
Summary: Spoilers for 3x12 After Emma drinks the potion and gets her memory back she and Hook go back to her apartment to talk. Some how they get on the topic of the understanding he thought they had. A lot of feelings are shared.


**Remembering You**

I was reading an older story on here about Hook and Emma having an understanding when they said goodbye at the town line. It really made me think and rewatch the episode. It does kind of seem like they had an understanding. This idea popped into my head and ran away from me. Spoilers episode 3x12.

A rush of memories flood Emma's mind. Henry at her front door in Boston, Storybrooke, Dark curse, Evil Queen, Snow White & Prince Charming, and Neverland. Neverland and a kiss. A kiss with a devilish handsome pirate. The pirate standing in front of her. "Hook." A smile crosses his face. The one that she now remembers makes her weak in the knees. "Miss me?"

Did she miss him? That almost feels like a philosophical question. How can you miss someone you didn't remember? Yet now that she does she feels a slight ache. "You can't miss someone you don't remember, Hook." That is how their game is played. He wears his heart on his sleeve and she acts like it doesn't mean anything to her. His smile doesn't drop, but she can see the hurt in his eyes. He acts like her words don't hurt and their game continues.

"So, you were saying my family is in trouble. Something about another curse." She turns and starts walking in the direction of her apartment knowing he will follow. He always follows. He always comes back. Emma shakes herself of those thoughts. Now is not the time to think about her 'thing' with Hook. Killian does follow her. "Aye, but I'm sure this is something we should discuss at your home where people can not over hear us." Emma agrees and they head back to her place.

They are sitting at her table in silence now. Hook just told her about the bird and the message. How he left the group right after they got to the Enchanted Forest. Emma thinks he almost looks ashamed to tell her went back to pirating. Like he feels like he would disappoint her. Hook has always caused Emma to have a lot of confusing feelings. On their adventure up the bean stalk she felt a connection. Part of her wanted to trust him. When he got hit by the car she was concerned he was really hurt even though he just shot Belle. Even when he showed up at the last minute to bring back the bean she was relieved to see him for more then one reason. Neverland was the most confusing. All Emma wanted to do was get her son back. Thoughts of Hook especially like that should not have been running through her mind. There were times she felt so guilty to be thinking those not very inappropriate thoughts. That pirate drove her crazy. Now he is sitting here in front of her with his sad but dreamy blue eyes throwing her life into a tailspin.

Emma quickly looks up from her glass at Hook as if she just thought of something. "How did you get here?" Killian cocks his head to the side and lifts a brow. "We walked here together, love. Do you not remember? Is this some kind of side effect from the curse?" Emma rolls her eyes. "I mean how did you get to this realm? Regina said it would be impossible to get back. How did you do it?" Hook shifts in his chair and looks down at his lap. He was hoping he wouldn't have to tell her this story. She isn't ready yet to hear how devoted he is to her. Killian does not want her to be with him because he gave everything up for her. It has to be because she wants him.

Emma knows that when he scratches behind his ear like that it means he is nervous or uncomfortable. She will not admit it is adorable. Alright maybe she will, but never to him. Killian clears his throat. "I was able to use a portal after the curse took everyone back. It is not important. What is important is getting you back to Storybrooke to help your family." And there he goes being evasive. But Emma doesn't call him out on it. It is not important right now.

There is a knock at the door. "Are you expecting someone?" Emma feels like her head might explode. Going back and forth from her old life to her new one. Hook old life, Walsh new life. She really wishes Henry had not invited Walsh over tonight. He is such a nice guy she doesn't want to break his heart. But she just remembered her heart was already in a weird love triangle. That the pirate sitting at her table has a pull on her she can't explain. "Walsh. Henry invited him." Killian goes to stand up. "Do you want me to take care of him?" He would be more then glad to send her suitor on his way. He already had a rival for Emma's heart in Neal Cassidy.

Emma holds up her hand to stop him from getting up. "No. This will be hard enough. This may not have been real, but it was real to him. He loves me and I hate that I have to break his heart. He got dragged into all this magic crap and it's not fair to him. Let me handle it." She heads to the door and Hook's voice stops her. "Do you still love him?" She can hear the pain in his voice. Closing her eyes Emma takes a deep breath. She has never been good with feelings or talking about them. Killian Jones has power over her feelings she is not comfortable with. "No." She goes to talk with Walsh.

Sometime later they both walk back into the apartment stunned by what just happened. Silently they walk over to Emma's couch and have a seat. She doesn't even know how to process what just happened. A flying monkey. Her boyfriend of eight months was a flying monkey. She feels if she gives this too much thought it might drive her crazy. There is something heavy in her hand. She looks down and sees the tumbler she was drinking out of earlier with a hefty amount of rum in it. She doesn't even remember Hook getting up to get them, but sure enough she looks over to see him knocking back all the liquid in his own glass.

"What the bloody Hell was that thing?" Emma leans her head back and closes her eyes. "It appears that the man I have been dating for eight months; that New York Emma fell in love with is a flying monkey. A monkey that has wings. And very sharp looking teeth. Oh, and I can't forget the sharp dagger like claws he tried to kill me with." She takes a deep breath and lets out a sigh. "I have always had bad luck with men in the past, but this..." She shakes her head. "This is a low of Olympic proportions. Also this is the third man that has died after being with me." Emma turns her head to look at Killian. "You might want run back to the Enchanted Forest before you make number four." Killian takes her hand in his and looks her in the eyes so she can see he the depths of his feeling for her. "You, Emma Swan are worth giving my life for. I will not be going anywhere. I will never leave your side again."

When he says he will not leave her again Emma sees the pain from earlier in his eyes. "You really did miss me didn't you?" She feels him squeeze her hand. "How could you possibly doubt that I could ever forget you, Emma? You have never been far from my thoughts this past year or my heart. For me there is no one else." Emma is surprised he wasn't with anyone else in the past year. He said he went back to his old life. She just figured that meant nights spent with wenches he met in taverns as well. "The whole year you were never with any woman in any way?" He shakes his head. "Why? You thought you were never going to see me again." He lets go of her hand and places it in his laps where his wooden hand has been laying. Unable to look at Emma he stares down at his hands. "I thought we had an understanding. When we said our goodbyes at the town line I thought there was something unspoken between us."

Emma thought about that moment. Her heart felt like it was breaking because she was losing her family again. She remembers the way he was looking at her. How heartbroken he seemed because he was losing her. Part of her wanted to kiss him, but thought it was unfair to both of them to start something they couldn't finish. She thinks about the triangle she thought she was going to have to deal with when they got back from Neverland. In that moment at the town line she knew what her heart really wanted. Who her heart really wanted. Her pirate stood there saying goodbye and she could almost see the tears in his eyes. in that moment she wished she had been the one to kill that asshole Pan.

Emma can see why Hook thought they had some kind of understanding. Maybe in some way they did. She suddenly realized why he looks so hurt. "I couldn't remember my old life. That means I couldn't remember you. Captain Hook was just a character from a Disney movie. My least favorite Disney movie. I'm sorry." He still doesn't look at her. "You didn't have to do that you know. You could have moved on and been with someone else. I wouldn't have blamed you."

He finally looks at her. "I told you Emma, there is no one else. In Neverland I shared my secret in the echo caves. I am not sure you truly understand why that was my deepest secret." She doesn't say anything. She wants him to continues and she is afraid if she speaks it will make him walk away like she would have if she was in his position.

"In the centuries since I lost Milah I have not been able to feel anything but anger and pain. Sometimes I felt like the darkness that I let in was starting to over power the love I still held for her. I will admit after the crew and I came back from Neverland there were some meaningless encounters, but that was just about needs. My first encounter with a woman after Milah I did feel as if I was betraying her, but it had been so long since I had lost her. There was physical pleasure, but emotionally I was numb. When I met you in the Enchanted Forest I felt something for the first time in centuries. There was something about you that got under my skin. When you jumped into the Never Sea I felt like you had ripped out my heart and taken with you." He takes a deep breath. The emotions are overwhelming.

"In Neverland I remembered what it was like to feel the good feelings. Love isn't always about pain. I think when you have your heart broken you start to think love is what hurts. But it is not love that hurts it is losing that love." He picks up the bottle and pours himself some rum. He takes a sip.

"In your world it is a metaphor when one speaks of the darkness in their heart. In my land it is literal. You know of what it did to Regina. It feeds off the negative emotions. Pain and anger. It fed off mine for a long time. I became something my younger self could never have imagined. That darkness has been slipping away little by little since the day I met you. You made me want to be a better man, Emma. Even though I had lost you I did not want to be that man again. The darkness has been replaced by my love for you. There is no room in my heart for anything or anyone else."

Emma had not noticed but a few tears had slid down her cheeks. She didn't notice until she felt his thumb brushing them away. She never knew someone could love someone that much. Sure her parents were true love, but she never thought about how strong those feelings must be. The man next to her just poured out his heart to her. To someone like Emma who has walls taller then the ones in China, that is the bravest thing anyone can do. She wonders if she is even worthy of love like that. The devotion he showed this past year or even now seems impossible. She was a lost girl. The unwanted child passed from home to home. But Killian Jones not only wants her, he loves her.

"I'm sorry. I wish I had remembered you and our understanding. I'm sorry I hurt you. I don't love Walsh. Even before I knew he was a monkey. The Emma who never climbed a bean stalk with a pirate in the Enchanted Forest did." Emma reaches up and cups his face in her hand. He briefly closes his eyes at her touch. He opens them only to make sure it is not another dream. Their eyes lock. Blue meets green. When he feels her leaning closer his heart stutters. When he feels her lips on his that bloody heart of his almost jumps out of his chest.

The memory of how silky her hair is does not come close to the real thing. Killian can't stop touching it as their lips glide across each others. He can feel her hand in his hair as well. There is no tugging of leather or aggressive harsh kisses this time. This time the kisses are soft and gentle. It is not about passion. It is about the connection they share.

"I think we should move past this understanding of ours and make this something more official." Their lips are still touching so he not only hears his hearts desires, but feels them as well. "I am new to the traditions of this realm. What would something more official entail?"

Emma smiles and pulls away just enough to really be able to see his eyes. "You belong to me. I belong to you. No wenches. No monkey's. We will always come back for each other no matter which realm we get thrown into." He smiles and nods. "I can agree to that." Killian pulls his hand from her hair just enough for his thumb to caress her face. "I will always find you, Emma."

Maybe true love isn't so impossible for Emma Swan. Not when she has such an understanding pirate madly in love with her.


End file.
